Tuesday, March 29, 2005

People Read This...

Well Duh...

It never actually occurred to me that people read this until today.

Someone I work with(yes, you again Beck...err Peggy) mentioned that she had read my updates from last week and that she thought is was very sad. Another friend commented that she was bothered by something I wrote. Another mentioned that she reads and doesn't like the computer stuff. My cousin talked about reading it during the family thing.

It's weird and kind of makes me paranoid. Part of me loves getting feedback and hearing that people are reading this, but a part of me gets freaked out that people I know are reading it. It's like some kind of weird reverse voyeurism.

I tell everyone about my blog. I love that people read it. I love even more that some people enjoy it. I love hearing peoples thoughts and comments but in a way it's almost like they are commenting on me, and that's a weird feeling. It's not like its a new thing to me(Hello, 300 pound fat ugly bald guy here. Yeah I know comments) but this is different. I just don't know how to feel about it. I like it but it's unnerving at the same time.

Oh the dilemma...

I'll just keep writing, you keep commenting and the world keeps spinning...



Friday, March 25, 2005

Being Sad Sucks...

4 day weekend...Wooohooo!


Well, unfortunately no. My mind is too caught up in everything else to be excited about a holiday weekend. I've spent the first day of said weekend sleeping. I woke up at 9 and went back to sleep at 11 and have spent most of the day drifting in and out of sleep since.

It's odd when you've put a lot of time and energy into something and then that something isn't there anymore. I know it's not the end of the world, I know that life goes on but at this very minute I can't get over how much I miss what is gone. I wish I could stop thinking. I wish I could turn off everything and turn it back on when all the emotion and sh!t is gone. I know I can't but it would be nice if I could.

This weekend is going to be strange as well. My entire family is getting together tomorrow to celebrate my Grandma's 80th birthday. My Grandma and I are incredibly close. My Gram was a huge part of my life when I was a child and I love her dearly. So tomorrow is going to have a lot of mixed emotions. Most of my family doesn't know what has happened and I know at least one person will ask about it. Just sucks...

I doubt I'll update until sometime next week, so allow me to wish any of my readers a Happy Easter.



Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

The Sound Track of My Life...

With the thought that some of my comments about this past weekend might hurt and offend someone, I'm not going to be talking about it too much other to say, it was messed up. Sometimes things happen that show you exactly where you are and where you need to be and this past weekend was one of those moments. I'm hurt and angry, but not hateful and resentful.

I've noticed, in my life, that music seems to find me in times of need. If I'm happy, some song will come along at exactly the right moment that just adds to that feeling. When I'm depressed or angry a song will pop up that describes how I feel or feels how I do that helps me sort things out. This weekend I had another one of those moments. The only album I brought along on my trip was the new Queens of the Stoneage, Lullibies to Paralyze. I loved the new CD before I left, but now it might be one of my all time favorites. A lot of the music on it and lyrics just matched so equally with how I felt, it was just scary. By far, the song that can best describe my feelings is the closing track, The Long Slow Good-Bye. It's just weird...

"Long Slow Goodbye"

Song by: QOTSA

Where have you gone again my sweet?
Everybody wants to know
Where have you gone again my sweet?
Everybody wants to know
Where you gone?

I'm just a ghost, i'm on your street
Waitin', when you comin' home?
Gone so long
Where you gone?
On a long slow goodbye?
On a long slow goodbye...

In every voice, i hear you speak
Waitin' by the telephone
I close my eyes, i just can't sleep
Roll & tumble all night long
All night long
Where you gone?

I close my eyes, i just can't sleep
Where have you gone again my sweet?

On a long slow goodbye?
On a long slow goodbye...




Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Making Scented Candles...

First and foremost, I'm drunk right now.

I hit the "next blog" button on the top of the page and it said something about making scented candles, then had a bunch of Ebay ads. I don't think people really get the whole concept of "blogging". Ain't it supposed to be about what you are thinking about or feeling or just talking about random sh!t? Why would you try to sell stuff? Just kind of ruins the experience. I get such a kick out of doing this, I just don't get why someone would want to whore scented candles with it.

Tomorrow is going to be a long day. The day before my travels always are. I've slacked about doing something's that need to be done and now they all need to be done tomorrow. I hate being a slacker.

Speaking of my trip...Hmmm...how about them Yankee's?

My boys want to go to the bar tomorrow night, as kind of a send off/celebrate March break thing. I'm so totally broke. I don't know. BLAH!

I just "got" the new Queens of the Stone Age CD. I think I'm just as addicted to it as I was the last one. It's really good.

ok enough useless crap. I shall return Tuesday with a rundown of the events of my weekend.



Monday, March 14, 2005

Good Lord Tomorrow is Going to Suck...

Looking at the clock as I type this it's 1:42 am, and I have to be at work for 7:15 am. Can't sleep. Sucks. So why not do what all nerdy people do when they can't sleep...screw around on the computer. Yay!

It's been a while since I've talked about my Linux stuff. I'm still using it, just slowly teaching myself. I spent a few hours with it Friday night and was quite impressed. Thinking maybe the time is ripe to change completely. Only real gripes thus far have been with installation issues. It's kind of a pain in the ass, but when it works it's pretty sweet. If you want to give it a whirl, try something like Knoppix or Slax. Knoppix and Slax are whats called live boot CD's. These boot up right from your CD rom drive and require no installation and they run right from the drive. I really wish I had screwed around with those more before I installed Xandros, think I would have had an easier time with it.

While I'm still a hardcore Firefox supporter, I've noticed that some spyware has creeped onto my computer. I'm hoping that it's not from my beloved Firefox. I honestly don't think I could ever go back to IE. IE is just horse sh!t compared to Firefox. Get Firefox! Make the switch already!

Been screwing around with IRC lately. Using mIRC inparticular. It's ok. I've been using it to download cartoons. Most of the time the speed sucks, but it's pretty cool finding something you haven't seen since you were 11. Also nice to be able to talk to the people you are downloading from. It's not exactly the most user friendly program, so stay away computer novices.

I was digging on Digg.com(the coolest news type site on the net, I might add) and somone posted a story about getting free stickers from this site, Geekfury.com, if you mentioned them in your blog. Since I'm all about free stuff I thought I'd check it out. They are marketing a bunch of stickers directed at the geek set(as if Geekfury wasn't an indication of that). Most of them are pretty funny. So if you have a child that wants to deface a guitar with some nerdy stickers check them out(yes Peggy, that was directed at you).

Well it's 2:15 am now, I should probably go to bed.



Sunday, March 13, 2005

I Feel Poopy...

Some friends and I went to London yesterday to see some other friends. We got there and I immediately had a couple adult beverages...a couple led to a few and a few led to many. After my many drinks I fell asleep, soundly, in the middle of the living room floor. While it did miraculous things to my sore back, it did little for my sleep lacking self. I'm not quite hungover, but I'm not quite myself either.

To make matters worse, a friend of mine told me something bad happened but won't tell me what that bad thing was. I want this day to be over with so I can just die in peace.


Thursday, March 10, 2005

Pain Sucks...

I hurt.

For the past three days I have been in a LOT of pain. I feel like I have a boulder between my shoulder blades. Anytime I move I feel it. It sucks and I want it to go away. I don't know what to do about it...it just sucks. Ow.



Thursday, March 03, 2005


Everybody knows that I'm a big wrestling fan. Everyone also knows that I'm a big video game fan. Now mix those two, and you have my favorite. I love wrestling games. There's nothing like playing as or beating up your favorite wrestler. The biggest problem is there aren't a lot of quality wrestling games out there.

Well I'm part of what can best be called a movement to change that.

A few years ago some folks were incredibly unhappy with all the problems with a (then) WWF game, and were very vocal about their dissatisfaction on the Gamefaqs forums. One guy in particular, Dave Wishnowski, was so upset about it that he tried to contact the games manufacturer. The treatment he received from the game maker was so bad that Dave decided that if they weren't going to try to make things better, he'd go out and do it himself.

After a few years of ups and downs, Dave and a crew of people have finally started making that game.

I've been following the path that Dave has been on almost from the beginning. Dave's been so kind as to email me(and several of his supporters) many times answering any questions we have or responding to email or even just to chat a little bit. When I was having a problem with a t-shirt I ordered, Dave went so far as to call me.

Think about that for a minute. When was the last time the president of a company called you when you had a problem? That's what makes this whole movement special. Dave has sworn that no one will go unheard, and no question will go unanswered. That whole mentality has gathered a flock of fans who are dieing to play our game.

You can join the revolution at Wrestling Gamer's United and Pro Wrestling X(the Game's of Official Website).



Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Two Good Days...

The last two days have been FANTASTIC(except for the bitter cold, and f'ing snow).

For the past few weeks I've been looking for this DVD player, a Philips DVP642 and having very little luck. Amazon had them, but they quickly sold out. Radio Shack(in my area) had them, but they kept selling out or they only had display copies. I was on my last wit when, by twist of fate, my best friend was at Best Buy and they had a huge pile of them. So yay for me, got my new DVD player...and it's friggin' sweeeet!

After work yesterday I went to the travel agent to book my next flight. I was expecting to pay out the wazzoo. Imagine my surprise when the agent told me that that it was going to be about $100 less then what I usually pay. F'ing eh!

Two good days. Gotta love it!